(Achtung: Einige der hier gezeigten Witze mögen nicht mehr allzu aktuell sein, da sie vor über zehn Jahren gesammelt wurden)
(Attention: Some jokes may seem a bit outdated since they were collected more than 10 years ago)

The real Meanings of "IBM" Industrial Bullshit Merchandising Incredibly Blasphemous Machinery Intolerance By Microsoft I Buy Macintosh Insane, Brainless Marionettes Ich Bin Müll (I am trash) Increasing Braindrain Movement Intrigue, Business & Microsoft

[All pictures and images on this side © by Tolayon]

A computer freak has died and Pete shows him the street where all the deceased celebrities of the computer industry have found their home in their live after death. First the recently deceased sees a simple, modest house. "Here lives Konrad Zuse, the German computer pioneer," Pete explains. Then, after further simple houses, they come across a smart villa. Pete says: "This is the home of Steve Jobs from Apple!" At the end of the street, a vast estate comes in sight, with a gigantic, baroque-like castle and "GOD THE FATHER" emblazoned in golden letters on its gate. "Wow!" the computer freak says, "Pete, I didn't know that your boss lives here, too!" Pete suddenly turns very red in the face and responds in an embarassed voice: "Er, well, I'm afraid this is not really quite the case; in fact, this estate belongs to Bill Gates!"

Ein Mann kommt ins Standesamt und sagt, dass er seinen Namen ändern lassen möchte. "Natürlich können Sie das, junger Mann", antwortet der Standesbeamte, "wie heißen Sie denn im Moment?" "Adolf Scheißberger!" "Ach du meine Güte, diesen Namen würde ich an Ihrer Stelle auch so schnell wie möglich ändern lassen! Wissen Sie schon, Wie Sie in Zukunft heißen möchten?" "Ja: Christian Scheißberger!"

A man is driving through the icy landscape of Iceland in September 1993. Suddenly he sees something running across the road and stops immediately, the breaks of his car shrieking like a tortured creature. He gets out and sees a little elf who embraces him with relief. "Thank you for not knocking me down, your eyes must be very good! Just tell me if you have any desire, any dream and I will make it come true for you!" "There's indeed something that really bothers me: A horrible civil war is going on in Yugoslavia; I would be grateful if you could put an end to it!" "Oh, I'm afraid I don't know where Yugoslavia is! Don't you have an other desire which does not require my going to strange, foreign places?" "All right, then let's try something more personal: My wife's so ugly, perhaps you could make her look a little bit more beautiful!" "This should be no problem for me. Just show me your wife and I will make her the most beautiful woman of the whole country!" The elf gets into the man's car and they drive to his home. After arriving there he says: "It is four thirty a.m., she must be in the bedroom now and having a little nap. Just go inside, take a look at her and give her at least a tiny bit of beauty!" She does so; two minutes later, she comes out with an expression of disgust and despair on her face. "Do you happen to have a map of the world or a globe in your house? Then show me where Yugoslavia is!"

Microschrott proudly presents: Virus 98!

Für die einen ist es nur Windows 98, für die anderen das längste Virus der Welt!

Ein Auto ist mit einer Panne stehen geblieben. Der Fahrer, ein Physiker, und seine beiden Beifahrer, ein Chemiker und ein Informatiker, versuchen, die Ursache des Problems herauszufinden und das Auto wieder zum Laufen zu bringen. "Die Elektrik könnte beschädigt sein", meint der Physiker, "ich glaube, die sollten wir mal überprüfen!" Der Chemiker stimmt ihm zu und ergänzt: "Ich werde die Qualität des Benzins überprüfen; bei einem falschen Treibstoff ist es kein Wunder, dass der Motor nicht mehr arbeitet!" "Oh Leute, warum denn so umständlich?", entgegnet der Informatiker, "warum steigen wir nicht einfach wieder ein, schließen alle Fenster und gehen auf Neustart?"

Apple strikes back! © 2000 by Tolayon Eine animierte Version deses kleinen Comics gibt es im Filmtheater!